Hello to all 3 followers who might have noticed my absence.

To begin, I’m not dead, yet.

I got a new phone in December, and before it occurred to me to transfer my accounts to my new phone, I lost access to my old phone number.

The number my 2-factor authentication is tied to.

So, although I am logged into the mobile app on my old phone, I cannot log into any other device.

Tumblr support told me I could generate a backup code. From a desktop. Which I cannot log into.

This site is a dumpster fire.

egberts

wumblr

diapensia

[id: a textpost by @/wdhmbt that says “There is a house in New Orleans, not the one you’ve heard about. No not that one either I’m talking about a third unrelated house” /end id]

ducktoothcollection

[audio description: the textpost slowly, beautifully sung to the tune of “house of the rising sun” with the appropriate backing instrumentals. It fits perfectly. End description.]

thecautiousbisexual

its-only-the-rain

Have you ever wondered how someone meets Santa? Well, you need to follow a very specific ritual to summon him.

the-nwah-embassy

Do you have any idea how long I’ve had this queued? Any idea? A year. A fucking year. I don’t even use my queue ever. Ever. This is the only thing I’ve EVER queued. I’ve had this queued for a year so I don’t forget it.

nerevar-shid-and-fard

everything about this video is perfect. the voice acting, the cookies, the milk, the cave, the chickens singing the imperial march for some reason, the way the sound of the fires starting lines up with the haunting song of the chickens, the way santa teleports right in front of the player at the last second. it’s all so surreal

thecautiousbisexual

the-writer-is-always-write

In other news, reading the reviews for Cats had become my new favorite pastime:

anoyingwarlock

thesweetpianowritingdownmylife

shroomdyke-deactivated20200213

🥺🥺🥺🥺

howdy-nyalll

What ghbili movie is this from

thecautiousbisexual

iamtypinglike98madmen:
“ jdillustratesnonsense:
“ hotcocoachia:
“ froginakettle:
“ guyalice:
“ unpretty:
“The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the...

queen-moon-cosplays

anxietyproblem

softbrah

aspiringwarriorlibrarian

The fact that this sounds like something you’d put on a resume is.....very disturbing.

thecautiousbisexual

horrorgay

We should all give Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons a good listen again, I think

horrorgay

It was like a strong beginning to modern unhinged folk/indie I think, and that's pretty iconic of it

queen-moon-cosplays

generalgrievousdatingsim

i’m sure i’ve missed a few things, but i can’t stand to look at it any longer. i present to you: the good, the bad, and the ugly of tumblr throughout the decade

deusphoenix

I’ve had a whiplash

zeromusicality

prokopetz

I’ve watch the phylogeny discourse on Tumblr go from “cladistically speaking, birds are dinosaurs”, to “by the same logic, humans are fish”, to “from a taxonomic standpoint there’s technically no such thing as a fish”, and frankly I’m excited to see where it goes next.

realityxcursion

If, taxonomically, there’s no such thing as a fish merely because the term is used to describe a group of species that is not a clade, then there’s also no such thing as a monkey, a crab, or a bee. There is, however, such a thing as a bird.

prokopetz

Only birds are valid.

deusphoenix

@optionalwarninglabels

matriaya

magicalhomesandstuff:
“A designer & an architect created a mountain home that’s a mix of styles and reminiscent of an antique fairy tale house.
The stone foyer, inspired by Goldilocks and the Three Bears..
This stone fireplace looks ancient.
The...

seananmcguire

seat-safety-switch

For the last decade or so, I’ve been routinely attending a ride-on lawnmower race. I’ve always wanted to participate, but the high cost of used mowers is better spent on more practical vehicles, like literally anything else. Sometimes, though, the universe sends you a message. And in my case, that message came in the form of an awkward leg of a huge trade-in scam.

Picture, if you will, the humble redneck. They await the approach of big, fast domestic mowers. John Deeres, Cub Cadets, even weird modified Chinese stuff they looted from Aliexpress. There is jubilance, but that soon comes to an awkward hush. An unfamiliar engine note approaches.

My International 1480 combine harvester, all ten tons of it, is barrelling down the highway at a clip somewhere between “tepid” and “jaunty.” Even though I have shown up for a race, I am sandbagging a little bit, making sure that the bets get settled against my vehicle before I show them the might of a fully operational monster such as mine.

Technically, there is no violation. I had looked at the rulebook from every angle in the previous year: it has the correct number of wheels, the proper agricultural intent, and with precise work on the tiller, it can even (poorly) mow a suburban lawn. Is it modified? Oh yes, yes indeed, but I see the nitrous bottles poking out from the rows of Kubotas at the starting line.

And when I leave the starting line, it is a thing of beauty. At least for a few milliseconds. It seems that the wizards at International Harvester simply did not comprehend of a situation in which the frame of their combine would be launched into the air by means of one thousand eight hundred foot-pounds of supercharger-bolstered torque. I had erroneously believed that the loose soil of the rural community would let the wheels dip in, but now I am facing directly into the sky, having twelve o’ clocked hard on my wheelie, shooting flames from my exhaust and whirling vertical blades of death towards the grandstand.

It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.

andalwaysburning

“It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook. “

I am but a mild-mannered urban being and have no idea what happened in this story, but with all the Gods as my witness I am getting the above text put on a plaque and hanging it in my living room.